Fifty Shades...of Tai Chi?

Last night it became rather clear that my Writer's mind is in full swing and cannot be trusted to take seriously anything that could be a metaphor. Our usual teachers were on vacation so I, as the serious Studio owner, was trying to help fill in. Unfortunately, someone asked how the writing was going, then someone else asked if they were in my novel and we started digressing. Well, they were fine, but somehow there was a mention of "Fifty Shades of Yoga," (by me) which somehow devolved into "Fifty Shades of Tai Chi."

Now Tai Chi is a wonderful, peaceful practice. Each of the move has a beautiful metaphorical name. Unfortunately, like fortune cookie predictions, all you have to do is add "in bed" to the end to have some wicked sexual metaphors. And once you get started, it's hard to stop. Much giggling ensued. Especially when we started the set. I had no idea how many times the "Snake darted out" in Tai Chi.  I believe that I am now banned from teaching Tai Chi by all the Tai Chi masters past, who rolled in their graves while I was warping their beautiful language.

But in the spirit of creativity, I give you "Fifty Shades of Tai Chi," a bit of a quickie:

"The temple exercises ignited their passion, and they took their preliminary postures on the floor. She hunted for the needle at the bottom of his sea as he grasped her sparrows tail. She rolled back, he pressed forward, slanting his fly. The white stork spread her wings, he saw the seven stars and the golden cock stood on one leg. As she tamed his shuttles, he parted her wild horses mane and the snake darted out. She rode the tiger and he carried her to the mountain, closing the door in completion."